You Hate Me Now, Don't You?

Those dreaded words that children say when something goes awry, at least mine say it.

Here's my most recent exposure to this:

I have to wake my children each day to get ready for school in time. Funny...on the weekends they can get up at the same time or earlier with no problems, but I digress. I generally wake them about 30 minutes before we have to leave. They have showered the night before so all they really have to do is get up, get dressed, wash face, brush teeth and comb their hair. So, 30 minutes seems like it should be plenty. Well, each day they would find more and more things to entertain them so we started leaving the house later and later. I finally told them that if they did not get up and get ready within the time parameters I allotted them I would have not choice but to wake them up earlier. I told them that the next time we were late I would start waking them when I get up because it appeared that they needed the extra time to get ready. I'm sure you can see it coming, they diddled around not too long after that conversation.

As we got in the car late again, I told them that since we would be late, again, I would wake them up early the next day. My son's reply, you guessed it, "You hate me now, don't you?" As I sat there in silence behind the wheel my mind started whirling about all the answers I could make to that question, but with my mind moving as fast as it was my filter must have been eaten in the process and I said, "You're right!"

Dead silence prevailed in the back seat. Then a meek, "I knew it."

I could not hold my tongue any longer so I got out my largest soapbox and my step ladder and climbed up. "First, you know I don't like that word because it is so strong. And, have you never heard of sarcasm?" I say. Both of my children are still silent in the back seat so I continue, "If mommy hated you would I have you in my car right now driving you to school? No, I would have left you home, alone, and let you figure out how to get yourselves there. Would mommy pay all the money she pays to have you in the best care after school? Nope, I'd let you walk home to an empty house." I am briefly interrupted, "You would not let us do that."

"Would mommy pay for all the activities that you want to do if I didn't love you?" I continue. Then, still met with complete silence (I'm not really sure what I expected them to say) I go for the jugular. "Do you think that when you say things like that you RIP Mama's heart out?"

"I'm sorry...I think I'm having kind of a bad day." I hear faintly from the back seat.

This all happens in a period of less than five minutes. When we arrive at our destination both my daughter and my son jump out of the car and the thought that crossed my mind was, "If they run, I wouldn't blame them one bit." But, instead, they both run over and give me a hug. Max says, "I love you, mommy!" Then they run off.

Me on the other hand, I'm feeling like a slug. I am the worst mom ever. Why did I do that?