All the Poop

So, last Friday my six-year-old daughter and her twin brother start arguing in their bathroom while they are supposed to be getting ready for the last day of school. I stick my head around the corner at the end of the hall only to see my daughter marching toward my room with my son following her and saying, "Please don't tell. I really didn't do it." My daughter stops in front of me while my son runs right by her, jumps on my bed, and buries his head under the covers.



Well, as soon as my daughter stops in a matter of fact way she says, "So, Mommy, the other night me and Max picked up poop out of your toilet." Of course, I am somewhere between horrified and laughing my butt off, as Max yells from our bed, "No, I didn't. I didn't do it!" I ask what they were thinking in as calm a fashion as I could muster. So, my daughter, who surely is going to have a career that involves serious negotiating skills, starts to explain that they picked up the poop and put it in the garbage can, took the garbage can to their bathroom and moved the poop to their toilet.



Being the brave MoM that I am, I ask, "Well, whose poop was it?" "Mine" my daughter responds, then launches into this story about Max going poop on their potty and she really had to go, so she used our potty, but she knew she wasn't supposed to use our potty and she did not want us to know because she thought she would get in trouble so she and her brother schemed the removal of the evidence. My next question, "Did you use your hands?" The response, "Nope, we used toilet paper!" All the while Max has his head buried in the sheets of our bed.



Finally, I asked, "Where was Daddy?" I knew if it was a week night (which it was) I was not home. She responds, "He was here, right here. He asked me if I had poop in my hand and I said no. But Max picked up the big piece, I only picked up the small one." Max is practically in muffled hysterics at this time with only his feet barely visible outside of the sheets. Then she says, "But Daddy doesn't know, so don't tell him please."



Of course, thinking to myself, how could he not know? My children thought I would be furious with them, they were clearly both scared to tell me. However I just explained to them that I hope they washed their hands well and it would be inappropriate for them to do that again. That is a good way to get sick, etc. And next time, for goodness sake, "Just Flush!"